Today Im going to talk about being a switch, or at least my experience with it.
Sexuality is such a big part of my life. Expressing these aspects of myself in photos allows me to feel more confident, as I think everyone should feel.
In the last couple years I really wanted to explore myself and dive a bit deeper into kink. I had always been a submissive person in the bedroom and had even dated professional doms. It was enjoyable sex, until it was boring. Its strange how using cuffs and whips can be exciting, but when its the same thing every time it just gets to be mudane.
It wasn’t until I started doing fetish videos and wrestling that I really found out I loved being dominant every once in a while. I thought that because I had this hyper feminine body and shy demeanor I would never be able to act commanding or assertive. Its crazy how something as simple as fetish wresting had completely changed my perspective on my submissive psychology. I had no idea what I was afraid of by showing a little dominance. i never realized It doesn’t make me any less feminine or change my soft squishy center just because I can be dominant. I was still the same person as before, but every once in a while I could indulge in the feeling of being in charge every once in a while. It carried into my life a little, I was becoming less shy and showed a lot more confidence, just from acting.
After a while, some of the dominating roles the fetish producers were so compelling to me, I started having sexual fantasies about some of the scripts I was given. As soon as being dominant became sexual in nature to me I immediately regressed. My newfound confidence felt a million miles away. I started overthinking everything and wound up making myself feel ashamed for wanting these things. How would my partners react? Would my dominant partners be disgusted and not want to continue after I voiced my concerns? Would it be like stepping on their feet? Could I continue to be submissive as well?
Eventually I finally worked up the courage to talk to one of my partners about it. Overall he was excited that I was sharing my wants and concerns with him. He agreed he wanted me to experience the sexual cravings I had, so we sat down for a while talking about what I could and couldn’t do if I was to Dom him that night, safe words, and his comfort levels. It was all incredibly vanilla compared to what I would experience when being submissive, but I wanted to make sure I was making him as comfortable as possible. It was one of my most pleasureable experiences to this day just because of the rush of trying something new after wanting it for so long. We had amazing sexual chemistry already and it just made it so much better.
It started off with just communication, I would make him say please or beg and would be more vocal about what I wanted him to do to me. Then moved into slightly more physical where I would pull his hair or spank him. He would let me control his orgasms and use him how I wanted. We eventually make our way up to me using a strap on but this was after multiple times of him becoming comfortable with subbing and him asking if I would peg him. Being submissive never made him any less of a man in my eyes, but gave me more of an appreciation for him.
Unfortunately nothing lasts forever, as I navigated new relationships and hookups I slowly started to understand how to navigate when to be more dominant or submissive and reading my partners body language. It really all depends on communication though. Expressing what you want from a person and just simply taking the time to ask them what they want is the easiest way to please someone in and out of bed. Ive had partners that don’t want anything to do with kink, partners that were switches as well, and people that stuck to their dom or sub role no matter what. They’ve all had different wants and needs, I’ve been incredibly privileged to have seen all those desires.
Kink has been such an influence in my life. To me, these photos represent my balance in it all. I can be this beautiful feminine power, no matter what I wear or how I fuck. Its been an incredibly freeing experience that I was able to find confidence through.
SB jan 3, 2018.
photos by ale fruscella